allergic to the telephone

hi
you called my number
but I ain't home
leave a message 
at the sound of the tone
maybe I'll call you back
maybe not
it's unknown
I'm allergic to the telephone

I'll tell you a little secret
I'm really right here
with a pipe of low-grade indica
and some lukewarm local beer
look, here comes self-pity
cue the sad trombone
I'm allergic to the telephone

          I haven't gone into hiding
          that's not what I'm about
          I just like to spend my evenings
          with the lights completely out

hi
leave your number
leave your message
leave your name
make it good and snappy
and be sure to entertain
I'm spending the evening
with my best friend 
all alone
I'm allergic to the telephone
I'm allergic to the telephone