Self-help through rhyming

What are you doing, here on the first day of spring break?

I'm hangin' out at home on a Saturday night. I can't afford to go anywhere, but I'm not complaining. I'm, like, just hangin', listening to music via headphones. I'm listening to this stuff recorded at a radio station by Big Star a long time ago. Their lead singer, Alex Chilton, just passed away and surprised me and made me sad. I've only just recently got into Big Star, and he is one fine singer. "September Gurls" should have been a big hit in 1972 or whenever it was. It actually makes me angry that it wasn't.

You didn't go to see your brother and his family?

Nope. I'll go tomorrow night. I played guitar today, messed around with working on a new song.

That's pretty cool.

Man, I really want to write great songs, songs that nobody else can write. (laughs) I feel like I'm a genius sometimes, but nobody know it but me.

That must be a little confusing. You go through most of your life, the overwhelming majority of your life, believing that you're a worthless sack of shit, if you don't mind me saying that...

(laughs) Oh, please, go on!

And then, in this one area of your life, you feel...

Powerful.

Powerful?

Yeah, and in the rest of my life I feel pretty much powerless. Seriously. In my darkest hours, I feel like I'm living just to hand money over to the insurance companies and the bank. Fuckers. But let's not go there.

There's always somewhere you don't want to go to.

Yeah, I have this aversion to making myself feel miserable. Usually.

I was going to say...

Writing songs is the best. There's nothing, nothing better than when it works and you're feeling like you're using all your muscles at one time. All your songwriting muscles.

And lately I've been good at it, and, man, what it does for my self-confidence -- it's self-help through rhyming. I could give seminars.

Here's a goal for spring break: To write a song I'm happy with. Which is a tall order, you know. I have high standards. Which is one of my best features, by the way. In songwriting. Man, I want to write great songs so much, it's like I can taste it. Damn, it's strong, that feeling.

It's why you were born, farmboy.

Fuckin' right.

Keep going with it, farmboy. You've got to follow this songwriting passion.

Oh, believe me, I do. Really, without it...well, I can't imagine.

Actually, I can imagine. I've had my heart broken by musical rejection, and it's the fuckin' worst, man. That's a place where I can feel powerless. But that's not where I am tonight. Tonight I feel all right. I'm considering drinking this one bottle of wine I have, but I don't do alcohol good. I can get sick from it real easily.

Sounds like spring break is going well. I really enjoy it when you pontificate about songwriting.

(laughs) Yeah, it's me at my most fuckin' opinionated.