Monday, April 11, 2011

Fight the good fight, you know?


So. Listen, man, I wanted to say thanks for the last time we talked. You remember, we talked about movement and fear and stuff like that.

Being healthy. I remember.

So I didn't even know how strongly I felt about these things and I felt good, man, I felt fuckin' hopeful. And, i tell you...remember that trip to California a couple weeks ago?

I remember, farmboy.

Well, I was fuckin' miserable the whole time. I was afraid of everything. I spent the entire trip this way.

Even when you were with family?

Oh, I loved seeing them. It was more just me, you know? I did not want to get up in the mornings when I was at my stepmother's place.

Which is the house you grew up in, right?

Yeah, man. It's always really great to see her, too. But I just wanted to hide away from the world and not be so fuckin' anxious all the time.

And the driving down...Fuck, man, it's like I'm afraid of the road and other cars but mostly my own driving. Thank God my brother drove the whole way.

So basically it was a long drawn-out panic attack. Fuck. Seriously, fuck.

But talking with you the other day made me realize that I still can...fight the good fight, you know?

I know, farmboy.

Thanks, man.

All I did was listen.

Yeah, but you do such a fuckin' good job of it, man.



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