my overused imagination

it was before computers
before my life had grades
before decaf coffee was chosen
over high-sucrose lemonade
I was a brown-skinned boy searching 
in the desert for some shade
on permanent summer vacation
in my overused imagination

in my mind's eye I would conjure
the life I should have had
a blonde movie star for mom
a TV actor for my dad
and how they used to treat me
whenever I was bad
this was not a good situation
for my overused imagination

I had imaginary family
I had imaginary friends
it was one or two levels
beyond playing and pretend
it was an imaginary means
to an imaginary end
but I never changed the station
from my overused imagination

and as I grew up
my imagination grew and grew
and grew to a place
I did not want it to
crashing at the end of
desperation avenue
with everything I had mistaken
in my overused imagination

standing on the borders
of these countries in my head
with the guards all giving orders
I don't remember what they said
the next day I was discovered
shaking
screaming
shivering in my bed
and this human heart a-racing
because of my overused imagination

I've done everything I know
to make my visions all disperse
but all my vain attempts to fight
only seem to make it worse
I still don't know if dreaming
is a blessing or a curse
or just another try at salvation
from my overused imagination