Friday, July 1, 2011

This is anxiety


Tough day?

Um, I'm not sure how to explain this. More of a useless day, where I didn't do a fuckin' thing. And I don't know...it may have been necessary. I don't know. I've been so stressed out, like you wouldn't believe, and it just gets worse, much worse, and I've been in this state of panic...last night I was worried, you know, 'cause it had gotten so bad.

Did you take a clonezapam?

No, but I will. It always takes me a while before I realize that this is anxiety and this is why I have prescribed medication for it. Before that I figure it's some kind of character flaw or something. Anyway, I figure it's my fault, that I'm a bad person. and I need to beat myself up about it. And then, finally, it gets so bad that I realize it's fuckin' anxiety and I have pharmaceutical ways of dealing with it.

So, farmboy, how are you doing now? You should have come to me to talk. Maybe we could have done something about it sooner.

(hangs head) I'm sorry, man.

No, that's not what I meant. There's nothing to feel sorry for. I'm sorry if it came across that way, farmboy. I just want to help, and I think I felt a little bad that you felt so bad by yourself. I worry sometimes, but I know you'll be fine. You're a smart guy.

I'm wouldn't be so sure about that.

I'm completely sure.

See, that's what I like about you. You have faith in me when I don't, man.


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