Don't let me give up

So what I did is call the contact for the non-music job and tell him that I'm not available. I haven't felt guilty yet. I mean, there's gotta be some way to make, say, fifty dollars a week. That's not asking too much. Is it?

Of course not, farmboy. You've got the musical skills. What you need is confidence and nerve and a way to learn how to get those gigs.

And how do I get confidence? I've tried all my life to be confident. And sometimes I am. But it's so fuckin' hard, dude. How the fuck do I start?

You may have to just fake it for a while.

Yeah. I guess. 

Trust me, farmboy. You can do this. You can make money with music. You don't have to live the way you've been living.

And what way is that?

You don't have to live in poverty. You can get out of debt. You can enjoy your life.

But what if I fail? I'm always failing.

Stop it.

(starts to cry)  But it's true, man. I've always been a fuckin' failure.

Please don't use that word.

Why?

Because you're not a failure. You keep trying. You don't give up. I've seen you in action, farmboy. You're a smart guy. You'll figure out a way.

What if I don't?

You will.

How do you know?

Because you don't give up.

Maybe that's just stubbornness.

Maybe it's because you're a true musician.

That's what I want in life, man. But is it possible?

You're already there, farmboy.

Man, I hope you're right.

I am.

I need this, man. Help me. Don't let me give up.

You won't.

How do you know?

(frustrated)  You're going around in circles, farmboy. 

I'm sorry. But I've failed so much before...

I think you're trying to protect yourself, farmboy. You can do this.

You sure sound sure of yourself, man.

I've been around you long enough to know that you're a lot braver than you think.

I'm glad you think so. I don't feel like that a lot of the time.

I know. That's why I'm here.

Thanks, man. 

My pleasure.