Stone soup

So I think my coworkers are concerned that I don't have any money for much food, so they've been giving me stuff. Like, I mentioned that I had bought lentils and that I was going to make lentil soup for the first time. So one brought me a big ham bone with a good bit of ham still on it. Another gave me some dried chestnuts for the soup. Somebody had brought in a vegetable tray at work, so I took what was left over and put all that into the soup...

Sounds like a pretty good soup, farmboy.

It was fuckin' great, if I do say so myself. And you know I'm a lousy cook.

I've had your cooking, farmboy. That's not true.

Well, you know, (laughs) I do these experiments that go awry sometimes, man. 

But wait! There's more! Today another coworker gave me, like, half a pound of bacon. And I never buy bacon. I try to not eat much red meat. And I'm trying to not eat much meat, for health reasons and financial reasons. 

So I fried up the bacon and threw that in the soup. It is so fuckin' nice that these people are so generous. This is like the world's best soup, man. 

I bet it is. Vegetables, ham, chestnuts. It's like that old stone soup story.

Oh yeah! I heard that as a kid. It is like that, you know? 

Except mine has bacon.