Stupid little feelings

Hey, what's up?

I need to talk. You busy?

I've got plenty of time. What's going on?

I've had all this bad luck come back and I'm trying not to be nervous about this performance I'm giving tomorrow. There's some personal stuff that's been kinda happening with people who I know will be there. Sorry to be so vague, but these people are friends of mine and...

I thought you had no friends.

Oh. man, these folks accepted me right off for the most part. And it felt so fuckin' good to have friends. I mean, so good. I felt like the most blessed person in the world...

And?

So there was this show and basically everybody in our core group was asked to sing a song except me. And I guess I got my stupid little feelings hurt.

Do they know about that?

No, I haven't said anything to anyone. I'm so fuckin' sensitive, man, pisses me off. Fuck. I mean, they don't have to ask me to play every time, you know? Not everybody can play every time. But I have to go and get all fuckin' hurt about it.

So I'm apprehensive about seeing everybody.

And performing?

Nothing more than the usual anxiety I have with performing. That's, like, the easiest part.

So go and focus on the performance and try to enjoy whatever friendship is there.

Oh yeah, I know, that's what I'm going to do. I mean, I don't want to hold a grudge. I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt me and they probably weren't even aware that it might hurt me.

I fuckin' hate gettin' hurt.

Put on a little emotional armor before you go. You'll get through it fine.

Oh, I know.

I guess I just needed to talk about it. I've been holding things in for over two months now...

You must be exhausted.

I am, man. I need to fuckin' chill out. It's like that Joni Mitchell song where she wants to have a river she can skate away on. Plus I got money problems, like 40 bucks to live on till the end of the month. And it's only the thirteenth.

Good thing it's February.

No shit. I need all the help time will give me.

Listen, I'd like to talk about all this after the performance. If that's okay with you, that is.

Sure. Um, let's see how it goes. (pauses) Hey, thanks for letting me blow off some steam, man.

No problem, farmboy. That's what I'm here for.

Thanks.