This is not a show

Man, I tell you, I'm tired. I just woke up from a short nap and I'm all full of aches and pains lately, but at least the fuckin' bronchitis is on its last legs.

That's a good thing.

Yeah, I'm thankful. But, man, I feel bad for you 'cause I've been so boring for awhile, and you're the one who ends up listening to all my stuff. I'm sure I'm a lot more entertaining when I'm desperate.

Not necessarily, but that's not important. It's not my entertainment that matters. What matters is that you are yourself. That's what really counts.

Well, "myself" is not that interesting.

What did I just say. Are you listening?

(surprised) Are...are you mad at me? I'm sorry...

Farmboy, listen, I'm not angry. I just want you to know that you don't need to worry about what I think.

You gotta understand. I'm a performer. I have to worry.

No you don't. This is not a show. This is real life. If you're not going through some kind of major emotional upheaval, that might be kind of a good thing.

Real life...

It's a good thing. Try it. You always perform in your life as if you're going to be judged, and that's no good. It's also not accurate or true. Or important. Not as important as just living.

Okay, I'll try this. I'm not a natural at it, though.

Just try to not try so much.

Look, you're a songwriter. You think in terms of lyrics. Here's one for you:

You criticize and you flatter

You imitate the best

And the rest you memorize

You know the times you impress me most

Are the times when you don't try

That's pretty good.

Joni Mitchell. "Woman of Heart and Mind."

Cool. She's good.

What I'm saying, though, is just live and be yourself, farmboy.

That's never worked for me.

Bullshit.

Bullshit?

You don't ever really do that, except for music, perhaps.

But I'm performing there...

I guess I was thinking more about the writing. But I'll concede. You do have a point. I guess I just want you to relax and give yourself a break.

Okay. (breathes deeply) This stuff is hard for me.

You're learning all the time, farmboy. Getting better and learning more and more.

You are my witness.

Well, it's true. You're a smart one, farmboy.

I'm glad it's you who is my witness.

I'm glad it's me, too.

I'm all confused right now.

Just relax. You're doing great.

Okay, I'm just being me. Now what?

Congratulations.