Tranquilizers and asthma medicine

Oh, man.

What's up, farmboy?

I'm fuckin' sick. It's either some kind of allergy thing or it's bronchitis, I think. I been coughing and gunk is coming up and I can't sleep and my throat hurts and my nose is running and I just feel lousy and I hate to call in sick, but I really kinda had to.

That's why you have sick leave.

I know, but I'm concerned about using it all up. But I still have some and there's just a little over a month until work ends, when school is out.

I didn't know you worked at a school.

I never told you?

I don't think so. You don't like talking about work.

No, with you I need to talk about my real work...

Which is music...

Exactly.

So that's why you're so worried about money during the summer.

Right. But let's not talk about work. (laughs) Let's talk about me being sick!

How sick are you?

Sick enough to stay home. Not sick enough to go to the doctor yet. Can't fuckin' afford it. If it gets real bad, I'll go, though.

This sorta sucks, in a way, 'cause I'm going to have to take off the next two Tuesdays. My sister-in-law has a family emergency and I'm going to take care of my niece on those days. Which will be good, a chance to spend one-on-one time with her. She's pretty wonderful. Maybe we'll go to the movies, we'll probably go hear this kid's performer that she really likes. It'll be fun. Plus it's good to help out,you know. Family, that's important.

It sure is.

I miss my Dad. He used to be real compassionate when the kids were sick...

You being one of the kids?

Yeah.

Do you miss being a kid?

I think some of the things I liked about being a kid I still have. Like a sense of wonder, like imagination.

Like a love of music?

Abso-fuckin'-lutely, man. To me, it was magic. It is magic.

I bet you were a fun little kid.

I was a very insecure and shy and troubled kid, emotionally troubled. I lived on tranquilizers and asthma medicine. I was fat and had hardly any friends. I didn't like myself hardly at all.

But you had music.

I was always protected by music. And I did have a capacity for joy. Which was usually connected to music.

It's funny. The thing about growing up,you don't realize how important some things are. Like the music on the radio or an article you read or a person you would meet. It's just all real life to you, it's just part of living. You're not so aware of everything because you're living in it.

You're still living in it...

Yeah, I am. And I'm thankful and I'm hoping I'm not taking any of it for granted. But, you know, I might be and don't know it...

Because you're living in the middle of it.

Yeah. Hey, look, it's 4:20...

It's 4:20 a.m.

Yeah? So?

I'm just saying...

Man, I just had some Alka Seltzer,and I think it helped some. I'm doing better sitting up instead of laying down.

Well, you're not going to work, so you can sit up for a while.

Yeah. Good. I'll go back to bed when I'm tired so then I'll fall right to sleep.

Thanks for staying up with me. It helps to have a friend when you're not feeling good.

No problem, farmboy. Call me if you need me. Any time.

I might later on.

That would be fine. Take care of yourself.

I will. You take care of yourself, too.