My mental illness is raging today

Today is not a good day so far. My mental illness is raging today, I tell you. It's just taking over like one of those weeds in the garden that strangled the life out of other plants.

I'm sorry to hear that, farmboy. I really am. I'm not just saying that. Do you have any idea of what you're going to do about it?

Friday is my appointment with the psychologist. I'm looking forward to that. I'm just sad all the fuckin' time, man. I feel like I'm grieving all the fuckin' time.

Grieving about what, farmboy?

Well, lately it's been that there was this occupational therapist that really helped me out when I needed help. And it's like...You know, I spend a whole lot of energy keeping people away. I do my best not to get close to people. And so this guy helped me and somehow broke through and now I'm not in rehab anymore. It's like I'm a kid saying "Don't take my friend away. I never get to have a close friend and I don't think I can take this."

No wonder you're sad, farmboy.

So I'm, like, how much grieving do I have to do? Can I move on to the next phase now?

Fuck, man, yesterday I did pretty well. Now today I'm isolated with nothing but time to think and think and think. I feel like whining "I wanna go home." Problem is, I am home.