I would be your mirror

I've done it. I've hit the wall. I've said it all, all that I had to say. Now I would just be boring myself as well as you and I ain't so patient as you.

What are you talking about?

I don't know what to say.

So talk to me when you do. And that will be soon.

But I like talking with you. I'd ask you a bunch of questions, but you don't allow that. You get all huffed up about being the interviewer. I mean, I got a lot of questions to ask you. All I know about you is that you're the interviewer, I should trust you, and I should take this opportunity to get to talk to you. You're not a parent or a preacher or a priest or a shrink. Oh, and you are amazingly supportive and I'd like to consider you a friend.

Now that you can do.

And I am appreciative of that fun fact. But, I mean, if somehow you had to talk, what would you talk about?

What would I talk about? You.

Me?

Yes, you.

I would talk about what I've observed and what you've told me. I'd go into your personality. To paraphrase the Velvet Underground, farmboy, I would be your mirror.

Velvet Underground. Cool.

I thought you'd like that. Let start with...

Wait! I'm not so sure I want to hear this.

It's all good and I'm going to try not to judge you. And you know that I would tell you these things as they naturally come up. Like little reports on how you are doing, really.

Okay. Tell me something.

You are a good person. You have a certain moral code and you stick to it very well. You can be funny and smart. I'll tell you what you're like at your happiest. It's like you get younger than you are...

Yeah, 'cause I'm not young...

But it's like you're a teenager or something. Or maybe even younger than that. You become excited and funny and playful, even. It would make people want to muss up your hair and pull your baseball cap down.

I don't even wear a baseball cap!

I'm speaking figuratively. Even though people would want to muss up your hair and pull your baseball cap down. At those moments, you're everybody's little brother. You have no idea how likable you are when you're in those moods.

Only problem is, I'm not in those moods very often.

No, you're not. But that's going to change, I can tell you that. That's part of why I'm here.

This is so confusing...

Which is why I'm telling you about yourself a little at a time.

Oh, I think that's a good idea. 'Cause I don't think I could take the whole fuckin' thing at once,you know?

I know, farmboy. But also, I don't know it all by any means. That why the talking is important. I need to learn about you, and, more importantly, you need to learn about you. Because I'm not really telling you anything you don't already know...

Oh, I'm not sure I agree with that.

Well, okay. I'm telling my perspective. It's important you remember that.

Okay. So tell me something else.

Nope. That's it, pal.

(sighs) I should have know this would happen.

Oh, there's lots more to come, farmboy.

That's what I'm afraid of.