Fuck, man. Another fucked-up day. I'm going for a world record, I think.
What happened?
Oh, I got upset at work. I just have to shake it off my back, you know, let go. Fuck. And, you know, it's affecting music life. I just don't feel like playing a whole lot. Which is not to say that I'm not playing, because I do. Every day. But I feel myself getting weaker and weaker and I don't know what I can do about it except to keep playing.
I can see where that would be a drag.
It's a fuckin' drag, that's what it is. And I'm so fuckin' bored with my own complaining. I need some kind of good news. I need something good to happen. And maybe I should just kinda accept that now's not the time for it and I have to keep on working.
Is it your job?
A good deal of it is, yeah. It's the cutting of hours and the disrespect and the low pay. But I really don't want to talk about my fuckin' job. I will tell you, though, I have great co-workers.
I'm really thankful for that, believe me.
Would you ever say music is your real job?
Oh, there's no contest, you know? I fuckin' live for music. Music is the desire, the passion. Music is my fuckin' salvation, man.
Oh, I've known that for a long time.
I've always known it, or at least I've known it since I was a young child. I do remember that when I was super-young, I wanted to be a doctor. And, before that, a (laughs) farmer. Yeah, I wanted to be a farmer. I would ride on a toy tractor and I would plant things, corn and pumpkins and stuff.
I could imagine that.
Oh, now I wouldn't. Too much work. I want to sit on the porch and play guitar and look at all the crops and soil. But I don't want to work for it.
Will you work for music?
Yeah. That's the good work, you know. Not so much the business part, but the creative part...well, my entire life is based around that. It's important for you to know that.
I do.
Well, what do you think?
I'll tell you what I think. I think everything you do for your music is something that should be encouraged. I want you to encourage yourself about every single creative thing you do that is centered around music. Your music and your creativity needs to be encouraged. You get all sorts of rejection; I'd like to see you even it out a little bit with self-encouragement. This is important.
Thanks. And thanks for your encouragement.
That's one of the reasons I'm here.
I'm going to have to think of some ways to encourage myself.
You can start by stopping all the discouragement. Or at least part of it. Any part of it. No matter how small.
I know. But, fuck, man, it's hard.
You're smart, farmboy. You'll find a way.
I hope so.
I know so.
I hope you know right, man.
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