Stupid matters that don't add up to nothin'

You know what I'm concerned about?

You're concerned about a lot of things.

Well, but right now I'm concerned that I may run out of things to think about. It seems to me like every time I think about something it turns bad and then I tell myself not to think of that. I'm afraid that I may be running out of things to allow myself to think about.

Like I get these memories from childhood, you know? And they always end up bad, and I think Why do I continue to think of this fuckin' mistake I made when I was a small child or that wrong decision when I was a kid? What a fuckin' waste of time. Pisses me off, man.

So that's where my brain naturally goes. And then I have to redirect it, where it would be so much easier to not have to deal with them in the first place. And it takes energy to redirect it. Sheesh. No wonder I'm tired all the time.

(laughs) Sheesh?

I have a friend I've known for a long time who passed sheesh onto me through osmosis. It's not my fault.

Let me ask you, farmboy, do you like to think?

Yeah, but I don't particularly like obsessing over stupid matters that don't add up to nothin', you know?

It just seems like I've been doing nothin' but thinking lately. Overthinking and overanalyzing. Fuckin' drag, man.

Here's some good news. The weekend is here!

Fuck, yeah, man, weekend. Sleep and stuff. Easter is on Sunday, you know? I should get a little something for my niece. A little stuffed bunny or something. Maybe a book. Maybe a coloring book. That would be cool.

So, did that take your mind off of things? That was just a little trick to try to redirect you away from the overthinking discussion.

It did. It was nice to be here in the here and now discussing buying a little gift for my niece.I need to do that more often.

Do what?

Live in the here and now, in the present, you know? Instead of observing all the time. It would be nice to be involved in life.

Be my guest! Be involved. See if you can get into the habit.

It's scary.

Yeah, well, I'll be here to help you through it. You don't have to feel alienated all the time.

That's actually what I've been thinking about. Alienation. Man, I feel so separated from the rest of the world.

Reach out a little. You have friends, farmboy, and you need to pay attention to those friendships. You've got to maintain them yourself a little bit.

Just start slowly. Do something this weekend. Just one little thing. Preferably with some kind of human interaction.

Okay. I don't know what though.

You'll figure it out.