It's out there and I'm grateful

I bought groceries today.

Was it fun?

It was good. I bought whole wheat bread, a chicken, spinach, lettuce, diet Pepsi -- 69 cents per 2 liter bottle. Other stuff, too. Plus I gassed up the car.

With money you earned from music.

Yeah.

You must be proud, farmboy.

I am if I let myself. I'm not good at letting myself think like that.

You're telling me...

I kinda just shrug it off. But I am proud. I just can't feel it.

But you're aware of it.

Yeah. I know it's out there and I'm grateful.

But you're not really feeling it.

I wish I could. But you can't force this stuff. I'm thinking maybe the first step is just being aware that you have reason to be proud. And for right now, that may be the best I can do.

Which is okay. It's a first step.

It'll be interesting when I finally fuckin' feel these things, you know, rather than just observing them.

And that day will come.

It fuckin' better, man. That's what I've got to say. But in the meantime -- hey, I'm aware that, uh, I am enjoying, uh, the fruits of my labor?

Something like that.

It's about fuckin' time.